Heartbreak
This is painful for me to write it. I am so angry, I am so mad at everything right now. But I know it is my way to heal myself. Recently we couldn't spend more time together because his parents and siblings were visiting him. He was busy with assignments and entertaining them since you know, they are there to visit him. So then I thought it'd be nice for me to visit him and do something nice for him while he was slaving away for assignments.
I talked to my parents and brother about it, they agreed to let me go. I thought then he would be happy that I go there and visit him. So I called him and told him about it, asking for permission to buy tickets and ready to go.
In reality, he turned it down.
He rejected to see me because he thought it is gonna get busy and he doesn't want me to spend all that money to watch him. He wanted to spend more time if I were there. Honestly I don't really care about it because all I want is to see him. He is also afraid that his sister might have something to say about it. There are all sorts of possibilities that my visiting could go wrong. Since his sister is going to extend her stay, he thought it would not be a good time for me to go as well. It seems too impulsive and spontaneous.
I understand.
But beyond that, I know it could worth all that money. Sometimes you just can't put money on things like that. If I have the ability to try to do it, I just hope he would have agreed.
It discourages me a lot, and it even more feels like he doesn't want to see me at all, that my presence together with his sister can be a nuisance. He told me he is busy but how is he going to bring his sister around being busy but not me? I don't even ask to go around anywhere, I just want to be with him. I am very much heartbroken. I hope it was worth it. We had too much these few days and this thing made things worse. I just wish I didn't even ask.
People change. And it is my bad that I didn't see him rejecting my request to see him is even something that would happen.
I talked to my parents and brother about it, they agreed to let me go. I thought then he would be happy that I go there and visit him. So I called him and told him about it, asking for permission to buy tickets and ready to go.
In reality, he turned it down.
He rejected to see me because he thought it is gonna get busy and he doesn't want me to spend all that money to watch him. He wanted to spend more time if I were there. Honestly I don't really care about it because all I want is to see him. He is also afraid that his sister might have something to say about it. There are all sorts of possibilities that my visiting could go wrong. Since his sister is going to extend her stay, he thought it would not be a good time for me to go as well. It seems too impulsive and spontaneous.
I understand.
But beyond that, I know it could worth all that money. Sometimes you just can't put money on things like that. If I have the ability to try to do it, I just hope he would have agreed.
It discourages me a lot, and it even more feels like he doesn't want to see me at all, that my presence together with his sister can be a nuisance. He told me he is busy but how is he going to bring his sister around being busy but not me? I don't even ask to go around anywhere, I just want to be with him. I am very much heartbroken. I hope it was worth it. We had too much these few days and this thing made things worse. I just wish I didn't even ask.
People change. And it is my bad that I didn't see him rejecting my request to see him is even something that would happen.
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